Andy-dotes - ages 6-20

Age 6 (1997)
     During the last two weeks we were in England, the extended family (Marge, Linda, Mark, Andy) was in Alaska. While they were gone, a neighbor fed their goldfish. He's a man who has tried to befriend Andy and he told Linda when they returned that he was giving up. He had greeted Andy light-heartedly with, "Your [plastic] dinosaur ate all the fish!" Andy responded scathingly, "That dinosaur doesn't eat fish. He's a herbivore."
                                                  -----
     Linda bought Mark the latest in a series of racing car videos called, "They Walked Away From It," for his birthday. Andy watched it one morning and Linda told him to leave it out, so they could keep it separate from the ones like it they hadn't yet seen. Instead, he tossed it into the cupboard with the others and Linda scolded him, "Now we won't be able to tell them apart!" Andy wasn't perturbed. Linda saw him reach casually into the cupboard and waft his hand over the videos without even looking at them.
     "What are you doing?" she asked, more irritated.
     "Feeling for the warm one," he said coolly--and pulled it out. "Here."
     Linda reported this to us with the comment, "Andy hasn't made me look foolish for a long time."

Andy (15) and mother Linda with Pomeranian Keno, 2006

For Keno and the Coyotes, see His Scribe, May 22, 2010.

Andrew (18) and Keno, 2009

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, ANDREW! Today I am thankful you earned your GED! 


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Andy-dotes - age 5

April 17, 1996
     The rest of us had dinner at Cha Cha Cha--Andy actually ate (a couple of rolls and some of his mother's ice cream)--and came home for the cruise video and presents. Andy helped me unwrap the presents and tried to move me right along because the only one that interested him was a Calvin and Hobbes book from Ben which had a picture of a dinosaur on the back cover; he had no use for a new Bible, a book on C.S. Lewis, a dress or a vest. Then he announced gravely, "I have another present for you, Jessica. Yesterday I asked Jesus into my heart!"
     "That's a wonderful present, Andy!" I said, leaning down to give him a big hug. This rendered him so shy he ran and hid his face in his father's lap.

October 18, 1996
     Andy won't color. He refuses. He wouldn't make a Dalmatian out of a paper plate, either. Every other kid did, dutifully. He'll do everything else but he won't do things he sees no point in.

Election Day, 1996
     "I've already voted," Linda said into the telephone. "Yes, I voted for him."
     When she hung up, Andy demanded, "Who did you vote for?" Linda named a local candidate.
     "Is he on Clinton's team?" asked Andy darkly.
     "No."
     "Would Clinton approve of him?"

December 27, 1996
     Andy tested out at a second grade reading level. Linda says his perceptiveness makes a fool of her. Once she pointed out a "big dog" and Andy said, "He's not big, he's just closer to us." (To which Mark, who was also present, groaned, "Oh, no, he knows about perspective!")
     Linda was helping him with his homework, coloring shapes which they would then cut out and paste on a picture. Andy was coloring back and forth wildly across the lines. Linda scolded him for not staying inside the lines, as she was carefully doing.
     "All the scribbles will be gone when we cut it out," Andy countered.
     Relating this to us, Linda said, "I tried to salvage my pride--I hadn't thought of that--by saying, 'Well we shouldn't get in the habit of scribbling,' but that didn't wash with him."


Sunday, December 29, 1996
     Dreamed that Andy, 5, was taken off to jail--probably for refusing to stay within the lines.


Today I'm thankful for Trader Joe's Kobe beef burgers, with grilled onions and mushrooms, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. We had some last night.


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Andy-dotes - kindergarten

September 13, 1996
     Andy entered the hallowed halls of kindergarten last week. After the first day he confided to his mother, "I was kind of scared about school."
     "What were you scared of?"
     "I was afraid somebody would say I was disgusting. When they didn't--" he drew the back of his hand across his forehead, "--I thought, 'Whew!'"
                                                 -----
September 15, 1996
   Linda lingered a few minutes after releasing Andy into his classroom the first few days of school--not that he had a fearful or reluctant bone in his body. On the first day she left him practicing diagonal lines at the teacher's instruction. On the second day, the teacher gave him more paper and the same instructions, apparently. Linda heard him say loudly, "That again? We learned that yesterday."
                                                  -----
     Linda was helping him with homework. They were studying the sound of long "a" and he was supposed to identify the picture of an ape.
     "What is this, Andy?" she asked.
     "A monkey."
     "What's another word for monkey?"
     "Baboon."
     "Another word."
     "Gorilla. Chimpanzee. Orangutan." He didn't know the word "ape," as it turned out, but he knew five synonyms.
                                                  -----
     He must be studying the life of Moses in Sunday School. He wanted to work his Nintendo in his lap and he couldn't conveniently get up and get new games when he was ready for them, so he asked his mother to be his "special assistant."
     After she'd gotten up three times to fetch games for him, she said, "Maybe you should call me your slave."
     "No," Andy said. "In Egypt, you'd be called a slave. Here, you're my 'special assistant.'"
                                                  -----
     Watching USC's win over Illinois last week, Andy observed John Robinson's impassive face and the Illinois coach's smile. He pointed the two men out to his dad: "He looks sad even though he's happy and he looks happy even though he's sad."
                                                  -----
     Out of the blue he asked Linda, "Who are you going to vote for?" and before she could answer, he made fists to show off his muscles. "Dole is this strong," he said, and Clinton--" bigger muscles, clenched teeth, "is this strong. I'm going to vote for Clinton."

October 16, 1996
     Last presidential debate tonight. I'm sure it won't change anybody's mind. Certainly not Andy's.
     Andy, at five, is passionately interested in this election. He watched the first debate while his mother tried to get him to do his homework.
     "I'm telling him, 'Andy, color inside the lines! Andy, don't make that apple purple. Apples aren't purple,' and meanwhile he's concerned about the presidential campaign. He wants Clinton to win--wants it so much he doesn't think there should be an election, he doesn't want change. Mark told him Clinton sometimes tells lies so after the debate when Clinton was still in the lead, Andy said, 'See? He didn't tell any lies.'"
     He is incredibly attuned to adult issues--and feelings. Mark's 18-year old nephew was killed in a car accident about a week ago. Linda took Andy to the funeral and on his own, Andy went up to each member of the immediate family at some point in the evening and said he knew Jeff had died and they were sad about it and expressed his sympathy! Jeff's mother told Linda he was such a blessing.
Today I am thankful for guacamole salsa.  (Hmm, I'm hungry this week!) 

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Andy-dotes - ages 3-4

'

     Andy's third Christmas, 1994, from Teaching kids about Santa Claus on His Scribe, December 19, 2010:
     "Time passed. Now Ben and Becky were teenagers and the only child in the family was their cousin Andy.
     "One Christmas morning when Andy's mother Linda (Rick's sister) went into the living room to turn up the furnace and turn on the tree lights, she discovered that the bichon frise had chewed through the wrappings of a package containing something edible and had ingested a good chunk of it (with no effects on him at all).
     "It took all of us to convince a dubious Andy later that Prancer had eaten the left rear panel of his new chocolate Ferrari.

Inset: on second thought, maybe we didn't convince him.

Age 3
One day Linda took Andy to a playground and in his typical unabashed fashion, he went right up to a group of kids, older than himself, who were playing in a space ship and said, "Let's play space ship. I'll be the captain and you be my crew." So they did. Our former pastor Dave Hocking used to say (maybe still does), "If you want to know whether you have the gift of leadership, look behind you and see if anyone is following." Andy's poise with kids (or adults) he's never met is amazing, but even more amazing is their response to his assuming control over them. A woman at the playground who had been watching him introduced herself to Linda as an expert in gifted children and said Andy has "unlimited potential."
                                                  -----
     Linda and Mark went to a counselor to see why Andy is so resistant to toilet-training when he knows exactly what's expected and can perform when he wants to. The counselor came to the door of the waiting room and asked Mark to come in first, alone. After some time, Mark came out and Linda went in. Then she came out and they all went home.
     The next week the three of them were in the waiting room again when the counselor came to the door. Before she could open her mouth, Andy said, "It's my turn!" and trotted past her into her office.
     So he had a session. Even adults let him assume control over them.

                                                  -----
Age 4
     The day after his 4th birthday, Andy wanted to play with one of his new toys.
     Linda read the box aloud: "For ages 4 and up."
     Andy: "My brain turned four yesterday."
     Rick was having lunch out with Linda when she related this to him about his nephew; he was so impressed he wrote it down on a napkin to share with me.
     "'My brain'! How many 4-year olds know the word 'brain'? Do you think he understood that it isn't how old your body is that determines whether you're old enough for a certain game, but--mental maturity? Our kids were bright but I don't think they were talking like that at this age. What are Linda and Mark dealing with here?"
     An incontinent genius. 
                                                  -----

     Linda and Mark have not been watching the televised trial of O.J. Simpson because of a possible negative effect on Andy--so how did he know to say today, "Oh, Mommy, O.J.'s in trouble again!"


Today I am thankful for chocolate cake doughnuts with chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles. 


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Andy-dotes - age 2

Andy with Daddy Mark

     Also remarkable were his even and cheerful disposition, his great interest in his environment, especially the people in it, his total lack of interest in food. At 27 months, while on a walk with his mother Linda, he encountered a little girl. Without prodding he asked her name, introduced himself, and introduced his mother!
     First clear evidence of sin nature: At 28 months, Grandma let him water the potted roses on her balcony with a trickle from the hose. He liked to drink out of the hose, too, but since he would poke the hose into the dirt first, she told him, "No drinking." In response, he ordered, "Marge, go in the house!" and when she went inside and peeked out, he was drinking from the hose!
     At restaurants, family gatherings and concerts in the park, Andy liked to go from person to person, offering them cookies or toys--he liked to make others happy. If I tried to turn the tables, giving back the cookie, for instance, he'd insist, "No, Deth-ka'th (Jessica's) cookie!"
     He was always sensitive. On Ben's birthday, Grandpa tried to get up a little too fast and fainted. Andy saw him lying on the living room floor and ran to kneel beside him and inquire anxiously, "Thee-thil (Cecil) okay?"
     Once when he was in our family room by the bookcases, he started poking the books out of alignment. I chided him gently, "No, no, Andy! Don't push the books in." He stood still so long I finally peered around at his face. His lip was out and quivering; he looked stricken and burst into sobs. He wouldn't be comforted for a long time--in fact, until I had rocked him to sleep.
     He loved mimicking faces and didn't mind if people laughed at his attempts. He'd join the laughter. He loved horsey rides and whenever I came to visit he would climb up behind me and try to push me forward so he could climb on my back; I wouldn't move once he was there until he said, "Ready--set--GO!"
     When he was a little over two he said something to me and I said, "I can't understand you with your pacifier in your mouth"--so he took it out and repeated what he had said!
     He wasn't scared of being pushed in his swing so far and so high (It was on a long rope from the tall, shady tree in their back yard in Long Beach, California) that it made the rest of us dizzy.
     He loved playing with other children; when he started attending the nursery at church, he'd say happily, "Kids!" and trot in without a backward look. He would try to get other kids or his dog Chris to obey him. He'd say, "Chris! Come!" or "Kids, come!" They'd ignore him but it didn't bother him. He didn't mind who he was left with or who was leaving him; he accepted it all with equanimity and anticipation. If Mom and Dad left, that was fine. If a stranger was baby-sitting, he'd take his favorite books and trucks to share with her. If he was right in the middle of playing and Mom and Dad scooped him up and said it was time to leave, that was fine, too.
      Grandma Marge told us a delightful story about Andy's innocence back in pre-school, when he was still in diapers. He reported to his parents and grandmother one day that his teachers said he had "private parts" and no one had a right to see them but Mommy and Daddy.   
     "And Grandma," Linda modified.
     Andy absorbed that readily, turning to Grandma with a cheerful, "Wanna see?"
                                                  -----
     He has tried having a few tantrums--he lies down carefully on his back first--and he won't eat or sit still at restaurants. (He screws up his whole face and shivers all over when presented with a new food.) He was scared of the noise made by a rat caught in a trap it dragged all over the attic over Andy's crib--Andy wouldn't sleep there for three nights. Just to show he's normal.

Today I am thankful for calligraphy pens.


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FAMILY: Andy-dotes

WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED POSTS. . .   

This week, Lord willing, I will amuse and amaze you with Andy-dotes--otherwise known as anecdotes about my nephew Andy. (Twenty this year, he now prefers to be called Andrew.)

Sunday, March 26, 1995
     On this, the occasion of the fourth birthday of Andrew Scott Haislip, Esq., being conscious of the unlikelihood that any other person acquainted with these matters has undertaken to record them for posterity, I do now therefore set my hand to making such accurate account as one privy only to secondhand reports may attempt, with the humble purpose that such account, though inadequate, may yet improve upon the making of no account at all:
     To wit, the precocious, amusing or startling observations of the child during his first four years.

Andy with Grandpa Cecil and Grandma Marge Shaver

My earliest memories of Andy
c. 6 months
     Just about the time he was beginning to pull himself to his feet, I babysat Andy for the first time. He was lying on his stomach on the carpet, facing away from me, away from the window. I noticed he kept raising his right hand, turning it and opening and closing his fingers--but he wasn't looking at it. He was gazing at the wall, about a foot in front of him. I realized he was looking at the shadow of his hand and that he was consciously proving to himself that he was causing and changing the shadow.

c. 15 months
     Andy came to our house, found the Mickey Mouse blocks and stacked seven of them--on the carpet. I checked Ben's baby book, which has a developmental schedule chart. At his age, it said he should be able to "build a tower of 2 cubes" on a flat surface.

c. 2 years
     His verbal ability was remarkable. He had a big vocabulary, good pronunciation, could create 4-word sentences. After "Mama" and "Daddy," I think his first phrase was "Whuzzat?" He could answer questions like "Where's the puzzle?" with "Puzzle - Marge" (i.e., at Grandma Marge's house). At 27 months he was using 6-word sentences: "I want to see my mama."

c. 3 years
Scene: In bed, to mother.
Andy: (Reading digital wall clock): It's seven o'clock.
Mother, from next room: You can get up it you want.
Andy: But I have a sitch-a-tion here. (Turned out a plastic dinosaur was tangled in his blanket.)

Andy told his mother something and she repeated his words.
Andy: Now you're speaking my language. (Language! And where did he get the idea it's his? What presumption!)


Continued


Today I am thankful for berries, bananas, kiwi, papaya, mango, pineapple, and Pink Lady apples--but not honeydew melon. 

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