In Neil Anderson's "Seven Steps to Freedom in Christ," Step 3 deals with "Bitterness vs. Forgiveness." I have led many people through this step. Now it is my turn.
I choose to forgive the pastors and elders of Grace Brethren Church for hurting us. I choose to forgive you for hurting so many of our friends. I choose to forgive you for continuing to hurt those who do not agree with you, who agree with the Bible instead.
I choose to forgive those friends of ours who still believe the leaders at GBC.
Forgiveness doesn't mean what someone did to you was all right.
"Forgiveness is a choice, a crisis of the will. Since God requires us to forgive, it is something we can do. [Matthew 6:12-15; Ephesians 4:32] However, forgiveness is difficult for us because it pulls against our concept of justice. We want revenge for offenses suffered. [In my case, I have wanted vindication.] However, we are told never to take our own revenge (see Romans 12:19). You say, 'Why should I let them off the hook?' That is precisely the problem. You are still hooked to them, still bound by your past. You will let them off your hook, but they are never off God's. He will deal with them fairly, something we cannot do.
"You say, 'You don't understand how much this person hurt me!' But don't you see, they are still hurting you! You don't forgive someone for their sake; you do it for your own sake so you can be free. Your need to forgive isn't an issue between you and the offender; it's between you and God. [Matthew 18:34]
"Forgiveness is agreeing to live with the consequences of another person's sin. You're going to live with those consequences whether you want to or not; your only choice is whether you will do so in the bitterness of unforgiveness or the freedom of forgiveness.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean we have to put ourselves in a
position to be hurt by them again.You must set up scriptural boundaries to prevent future abuse.
"Decide that you will bear the burdens of their offenses by not using that information against them in the future." [God called Jerry and me to "bring the deeds of darkness into the light for My judgment." When he released us to leave Grace Brethren Church, He released us from exposing their deeds.]
"How do you forgive from your heart? You acknowledge the hurt and the hate. If your forgiveness doesn't visit the emotional core of your life, it will be incomplete. . . Let God bring the pain to the surface so He can deal with it. This is where the healing takes place."
"Don't wait to forgive until you feel like forgiving; you will never get there. Feelings take time to heal after the choice to forgive is made. Freedom is what will be gained, not a feeling."
Forgiveness is dealing with your pain and leaving the other person to
God.
'Lord, by an act of my will, I choose to forgive (name the person) for (verbally share every hurt and pain the Lord brings to your mind and how it made you feel).'
"'Lord, I release all these people to You, and my right to seek revenge. I choose not to hold on to my bitterness, anger, and self-pity. I ask You to heal my damaged emotions. In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.'"
[Note: The way I look at it, we are all going to spend eternity together in heaven--so I'd better start learning to love you down here!]
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Not Janus
There was one who stood out from all the rest. He made a point of quietly coming up to us and giving us hugs, asking how we were, really caring. He sent us emails now and then--just a line or two--wishing us a happy Thanksgiving or a merry Christmas.
At first I thought he must not have heard the accusations, must not have been aware of the ogres we were. But he must have known because he was--still is--an elder. Yet he did not look through us or away from us. He greeted us not as Judas but as Jesus.
Of all the others, from those who set themselves against us to those who were deeply troubled and didn't know how to view us, he still stands out in my mind. This man did not judge us. This man exemplified Christ's command to love his enemies. I know he did not even consider us his enemies.
This man, Jim Siler, was walking in the sandals of his Lord. And I want to thank him: Jim, you kept me from utterly losing faith in the Church.
At first I thought he must not have heard the accusations, must not have been aware of the ogres we were. But he must have known because he was--still is--an elder. Yet he did not look through us or away from us. He greeted us not as Judas but as Jesus.
Of all the others, from those who set themselves against us to those who were deeply troubled and didn't know how to view us, he still stands out in my mind. This man did not judge us. This man exemplified Christ's command to love his enemies. I know he did not even consider us his enemies.
This man, Jim Siler, was walking in the sandals of his Lord. And I want to thank him: Jim, you kept me from utterly losing faith in the Church.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Peace (written after church this morning)
"Don't pray!" they told us. "We're praying!"
"Don't sing!" they told us. "You're not worthy of worshiping God!"
"Don't speak! We will tell people not to listen!"
"Don't write! We will tell people lies about you
that will taint what you post."
"We think you'd be happier at another church,"
they told us firmly (two elders, standing before us)--
and to make their meaning clear,
they stripped away our 36+ year membership,
stripped us naked
in front of everybody.
Part of the diaspora,
we followed nearly 200 other dazed people
and limped elsewhere.
Our new pastor opened his arms to embrace us.
He told his congregation,
"We are expanding our worship center,
with seating for an additional 175."
Through him
the Lord whispered,
I love to hear you pray!
I love to hear you sing!
When you speak of Me,
I am exalted!
When you write of Me,
your words delight My heart!
You will be happier here!
"Don't sing!" they told us. "You're not worthy of worshiping God!"
"Don't speak! We will tell people not to listen!"
"Don't write! We will tell people lies about you
that will taint what you post."
"We think you'd be happier at another church,"
they told us firmly (two elders, standing before us)--
and to make their meaning clear,
they stripped away our 36+ year membership,
stripped us naked
in front of everybody.
Part of the diaspora,
we followed nearly 200 other dazed people
and limped elsewhere.
Our new pastor opened his arms to embrace us.
He told his congregation,
"We are expanding our worship center,
with seating for an additional 175."
Through him
the Lord whispered,
I love to hear you pray!
I love to hear you sing!
When you speak of Me,
I am exalted!
When you write of Me,
your words delight My heart!
You will be happier here!
PTSD
Another Sunday morning. Again I wake up tense, disturbed.
I sit on the edge of the bed, tears welling up.
"This is not that church," I say to Jerry. "Remind me the church we are now attending is not like that." I am breathing hard. "Not all church leaders are like that. These men will not treat us like that. They will not publicly denounce us. They will not humiliate us. They will not lie about us and turn our friends against us. Not all men are like that."
Jerry puts his arms around me. "No," he says gently. "He is not Lou."
I sit on the edge of the bed, tears welling up.
"This is not that church," I say to Jerry. "Remind me the church we are now attending is not like that." I am breathing hard. "Not all church leaders are like that. These men will not treat us like that. They will not publicly denounce us. They will not humiliate us. They will not lie about us and turn our friends against us. Not all men are like that."
Jerry puts his arms around me. "No," he says gently. "He is not Lou."
Monday, October 8, 2012
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
To those of you who prayed Todd through--
Dear friends who prayed Todd Raynesford through his catastrophic head-on collision April 19 (see HisScribbler, April 30 and May 1):
You were such a blessing when you prayed for Todd-- Would you now please pray for Rhonda Miller (niece of our good friend Tom Hawks), a single mom, mother of two teenagers, schoolteacher, in Chico, California, who had a horribly similar head-on collision July 28. Both femurs, left tibia or fibula, all bones in right foot, left elbow, left hand--all broken, compound fractures. Both knees crushed and fractured. Plus punctured lung. Doctors just recently decided not to amputate both legs. Rhonda was transported to a hospital 19 miles away by Life Flight, which alone will cost her $31,000.
Hit head-on by a drunk man who passed out--both drivers going 55 mph. The man had his 12-year old son in the car with him and is now in jail. He has only $100,000 liability insurance.
God did miracles for Todd and Tish in response to your prayers. I know He will again.
Thank you from all of us.
Jessica
You were such a blessing when you prayed for Todd-- Would you now please pray for Rhonda Miller (niece of our good friend Tom Hawks), a single mom, mother of two teenagers, schoolteacher, in Chico, California, who had a horribly similar head-on collision July 28. Both femurs, left tibia or fibula, all bones in right foot, left elbow, left hand--all broken, compound fractures. Both knees crushed and fractured. Plus punctured lung. Doctors just recently decided not to amputate both legs. Rhonda was transported to a hospital 19 miles away by Life Flight, which alone will cost her $31,000.
Hit head-on by a drunk man who passed out--both drivers going 55 mph. The man had his 12-year old son in the car with him and is now in jail. He has only $100,000 liability insurance.
God did miracles for Todd and Tish in response to your prayers. I know He will again.
Thank you from all of us.
Jessica
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Transplanted and growing again
Thank you, God. You take such good care of us!
The Lord led us to several churches before taking us back to and settling us in one of them. Like so many others who felt led or forced out of Grace Brethren Church over the past 22 years, I couldn't help weeping through the first sermons we heard, realizing how parched we had become.
We have been nursing greedily at a truly Biblical view of Jesus Christ--Almighty, Sovereign, transcendent yet God-with-us, exalted and lifted up, name above all names, worthy of worship by all His creation, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, compassionate Savior, willingly giving His life in place of ours, the only necessary and sufficient sacrifice for our autonomy and rebellion, the One who not only hears us but can answer our deepest cries for help and heal the brokenness in the innermost places of our spirit.
The church God led us back to already contains so many wounded refugees from GBC the sanctuary is being expanded to accomodate 125 more worshipers. It is comforting to go to an unfamiliar church and be embraced by dozens of familiar people. Some we barely knew at Grace welcome us as long-lost friends.
We now understand why those who left GBC before us left quietly and still do not want to talk about it. We never want to step on that property again. Its air is thick with the poisonous fog of deception. In my mind's eye I see there a circle of friends with their backs to us. Why would we want to relive reminders that they chose to believe lies about us and, under orders by the perpetrators, refused to read this blog, blocked our emails, and would not let us speak to them--much less seek us out to ask why we were taking a stand against the leadership?
Like so many other outcasts, we are skittish about committing to another institution. I have trouble trusting what any church claims from the pulpit on on their website. We have alighted and are willing to stay but I feel my wings are still partially open to lift off at any moment if we sense heresy or just-plain-meanness under color of authority.
The Lord led us to several churches before taking us back to and settling us in one of them. Like so many others who felt led or forced out of Grace Brethren Church over the past 22 years, I couldn't help weeping through the first sermons we heard, realizing how parched we had become.
We have been nursing greedily at a truly Biblical view of Jesus Christ--Almighty, Sovereign, transcendent yet God-with-us, exalted and lifted up, name above all names, worthy of worship by all His creation, King of Kings and Lord of Lords, compassionate Savior, willingly giving His life in place of ours, the only necessary and sufficient sacrifice for our autonomy and rebellion, the One who not only hears us but can answer our deepest cries for help and heal the brokenness in the innermost places of our spirit.
The church God led us back to already contains so many wounded refugees from GBC the sanctuary is being expanded to accomodate 125 more worshipers. It is comforting to go to an unfamiliar church and be embraced by dozens of familiar people. Some we barely knew at Grace welcome us as long-lost friends.
We now understand why those who left GBC before us left quietly and still do not want to talk about it. We never want to step on that property again. Its air is thick with the poisonous fog of deception. In my mind's eye I see there a circle of friends with their backs to us. Why would we want to relive reminders that they chose to believe lies about us and, under orders by the perpetrators, refused to read this blog, blocked our emails, and would not let us speak to them--much less seek us out to ask why we were taking a stand against the leadership?
Like so many other outcasts, we are skittish about committing to another institution. I have trouble trusting what any church claims from the pulpit on on their website. We have alighted and are willing to stay but I feel my wings are still partially open to lift off at any moment if we sense heresy or just-plain-meanness under color of authority.
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